when you’re high as shit and your girlfriend is yelling at you
April 10th / 3,280 notes
Nothing quieter than a table of stoned kids who just got their food at a restaurant
April 10th / 26,267 notes
i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun
sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard
ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.
April 10th / 247,809 notes
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off
NOOOOO. No no no no. No.
April 10th / 87,631 notes